


i’m all alone and you’re the only thing that feels like home.

by westhamutd



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 07:20:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18162806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westhamutd/pseuds/westhamutd
Summary: “uh, hi?” eric says after a beat, and it’s only then that he remembers the loud music pulsing all around him, rendering his voice useless.the stairwell music guy seems to realise he’s trying to speak though, because he moves his hand and pauses the music. eric’s ears are fucking ringing in the sudden silence that’s descended around them, and he thinks maybe he could hear better when the music was on.“hey,” the guy says suddenly, “i thought i was the only one left in this block.”---dele and eric are the only two people left on campus over winter break.





	i’m all alone and you’re the only thing that feels like home.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! so this started out as almost a joke and now its twelve thousand words long... i have used my first hand experience of going to uni in england in this, as well as my knowledge of britpop! now that i think about it, this fic is almost painfully english...
> 
> anyway! enjoy, and please let me know what you think! ❤

eric wakes up suddenly, sweating slightly, his vision blurry and his muscles aching. all he can hear is some kind of dance music, loud and pulsing, close enough that he can almost feel the vibrations. he wants to was pierce his damn eardrums just to make it go away, and he feels like he should be angry but he’s mostly just confused. he was sure he was the only one left in this block over break, so where in the hell is the music coming from?

 

he blinks into the darkness of his room, trying to wake himself up and think of who could be playing the music, or where it’s even coming from. it sounds like freshers week all over again, memories of that stupid dj playing dance music in the courtyard for hours on end making him groan.

 

he sits up in bed, rubbing his eyes and staring around in the darkness for his phone. once the initial confusion has passed and eric is more awake than he wants to be, his emotions tumble into the realm of annoyance.

 

he is going to find out who it is and he is going to fucking kill them.

 

he checks his phone: 5:37pm. he’d gone for a nap at like 1pm, but so what if he’d slept for too long, it’s winter break and he fucking deserves it. he decides that is exactly what he is going to say to the asshole blasting techno music insanely loud somewhere on campus.

 

he climbs out of bed and pulls on some sweatpants and a jumper, not bothering to put shoes on until he knows he has to go outside, into the cold. he leaves his flat in record time, only mildly squinting and flinching at the automatic lights in the hallway. he stands in the corridor for a second, thinking _surely not,_ his mouth slightly open in shock. when he gently pushes open the door to the stairwell, the volume of the music goes up like ten levels and eric is once again back to being confused.

 

who or what the hell is blasting music in the fucking stairwell at 5:30pm during winter break?

 

it sounds like it’s coming from up and not down, so eric starts to slowly climb the stairs. he lives on the fifth floor, which he doesn’t mind. it’s high enough to have a view of the city, but not so high that you’ll die climbing the stairs up to your flat when the lift inevitably breaks again. as he climbs the stairs now, numbers indicating the floors slowly rising, he has the incredible revelation that maybe he should of just taken the lift to the top and worked his way down. _you’re an_ _idiot, eric dier_ he thinks to himself as his breath starts to shorten. he wonders if he should have just ignored the music in the first place. he could be in his nice warm bed right now, using the earplugs he’d bought because of the music during freshers week and getting some sweet, sweet sleep.

 

by the time he gets to the thirteenth floor (of course it’s the thirteenth, of all numbers), he is exhausted. he rises up the last flight of stairs and almost forgets how tired he is for a second because _what the fuck_.

 

there is a guy just sitting in the stairwell, laptop resting on his lap and speakers and turntables scattered around him. he’s leaning his head back against the wall, eyes closed and just listening to the music, tapping his foot lightly. eric opens his mouth to speak, but as soon as he does the guys eyes open. they widen as he sees him stood there on the stairwell and he freezes, looking just as surprised as eric feels. they just stare at each other for a second, eric panting slightly after his climb up the stairs and the other guys hands hovering in place over his keyboard.

 

“uh, hi?” eric says after a beat, and it’s only then that he remembers the loud music pulsing all around him, rendering his voice useless.

 

the stairwell music guy seems to realise he’s trying to speak though, because he moves his hand and pauses the music. eric’s ears are fucking ringing in the sudden silence that’s descended around them, and he thinks maybe he could hear better when the music was on.

 

“hey,” the guy says suddenly, “i thought i was the only one left in this block.”

 

eric blinks, the annoyance starting to creep up his chest again. even if this guy had been the last one left in this block, there are other buildings mere metres away from this one and he’s still blasting his music in the damn _stairwell_ , of all places.

 

“yeah, so did i, until i was woken up by some incredibly loud music.”

 

the guy smirked and eric wanted to strangle him.

 

“why were you sleeping at five thirty in the afternoon?”

 

“i was taking a nap, alright? it’s winter break.”

 

eric feels defensive all of sudden. something about the way this guy is looking at him is making his entire body run hot, like he’s being scrutinised under a microscope. he doesn’t like it at all, and he wants to make sure the other guy knows that, but he keeps getting caught off guard. mostly by his smile, but also his eyes and the bit of his thigh exposed by the rip in his jeans and the metallica t-shirt he’s wearing.

 

honestly though, it’s mostly his smile, especially when it softens as he hears eric’s reply.

 

“hey, i’m not judging. i napped for like six hours yesterday. can you even call it a nap if it lasts six hours?”

 

eric laughs then, against his better judgement, and moves to sit down at the top of the steps. the guy is just looking at him, staring right through him, and eric still doesn’t know why it’s unsettling him so much. he wishes so badly that he had the upper hand, that he could have a go at him for blasting his music like he’d planned, but he finds himself paralysed under his gaze.

 

“are we the only two left?” he asks suddenly and eric blinks.

 

“uh, yeah, i think so. and i don’t mind you playing music that loud, but at least make it good music.”

 

he laughs then and eric looks away. his heart is starting to beat a little too fast and he really doesn’t like it.

 

“what would you be playing, then?” he asks and it sounds like a challenge.

 

eric looks back at him and his eyes are full of fire and questions and the smirk on his face is urging him on, so he gives in. he moves to sit next to him and pulls out his phone.

 

“you’re wearing a metallica shirt, have you ever even listened to them?”

 

“a few songs. i’m mostly wearing it for the aesthetic though.”

 

he’s still got that smirk on his face and eric laughs, shaking his head and reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone.

 

“these speakers were made to play metallica. do you have a cable i can plug my phone into?”

 

the other guy rolls his eyes, but he removes the cable from his phone and hands it to eric.

 

“i’m dele, by the way. i think you should know the name of the person you’re about to torture.”

 

eric laughs and shakes his head incredulously as he plugs his phone in and loads up spotify.

 

“you’re wearing a damn t-shirt with the fucking band’s logo on, you idiot,” he teases, looking over at him as casually as he can, “and my name’s eric.”

 

***

 

the next time eric sees him, dele is sat with his eyes closed in the smoking shelter, his headphones on and a blanket wrapped around him. eric laughs slightly at the sight, wandering over with his bags of shopping and knocking on the glass next to his head. dele jumps about three feet into the air and whacks his own headphones off his head and eric loses the ability to breathe. laughter starts rippling out of him so harshly that he nearly drops his shopping, feeling his stomach clench as he struggles to control himself. when he looks back over at dele he's glaring at him like he’s ready for murder and new waves of laughter fall freely from his mouth.

 

“i’m sorry,” he says after a while, “but you fucking shat yourself, you should have seen it.”

 

dele doesn't say anything, he just keeps on glaring and leans down to pick his headphones up.

 

“if these are broken, you owe me one hundred and fifty pounds,” dele says as he sits back down.

 

eric sits next to him.

 

“yeah, i don’t have one hundred and fifty pounds, i’m a student.”

 

he can see dele laugh slightly but try to hide it, and eric can’t help but smile.

 

“why are you going shopping at 11pm?” he asks, looking down at eric’s bags.

 

“the shops are quiet this time of night and there’s no kids running around. why are you sat outside in a blanket?”

 

dele smiles and pulls the blanket tighter around his shoulders.

 

“it’s december.”

 

“ever heard of a jacket?”

 

dele looks over at him then, right into his eyes, and eric resists the urge to squirm. there is something about his damn eyes, they’re so intense and mesmerising and right now they're looking at him like they’re assessing him, sizing him up. eric doesn't like being the centre of attention, but something tells him he should resist the urge to look away, so he stares right back. as he drowns in dele's eyes, he realises that the other man isn't just looking at him - he has a question and he's searching for an answer.

 

he doesn't know what the question is, but eric thinks that maybe he finds what he's looking for.

 

after what feels like the age of the universe, dele stubs out his cigarette and stands up, walking towards the building.

 

“put your shopping away and meet me in the stairwell in twenty minutes.”

 

he doesn’t look back as he says it and eric thinks _what an asshole_ but he also thinks _that sounds like a date_ and he hates the way that makes him feel.

 

***

 

when he leaves his flat to enter the stairwell, he can hear the music. it's nothing like what dele was playing yesterday and it's so familiar but eric can't quite place it. he tries to figure it out as he walks slowly up the stairs, sifting through the music library in his brain.

 

when he reaches the tenth floor he remembers that there's a lift and wants to throw himself back down the stairs he’s just climbed, but he also figures out what song it is.

 

dakota by stereophonics.

 

he's still three floors below the source of the noise but eric stops in his tracks because he cannot believe that _dele likes stereophonics_. he’d never expected that after the shit he was playing the other day, and he tries not to read too much into the fact that dele is currently blasting a song by one of his favourite bands.

 

when he reaches the thirteenth floor, dele pauses the music but doesn't look up from his phone. eric hovers awkwardly on the top step for second before moving towards him.

 

“you've gone from whatever that shit was yesterday to fucking stereophonics?” he asks, sitting next to him.

 

dele does look up then, and he smiles over at him. it’s not a smirk but a genuine smile and eric wasn't expecting that. he is slowly starting to learn that dele does a lot of unexpected things.

 

“you wanted metallica, i wanted my music, this felt like some kind of middle ground.”

 

eric laughs and dele doesn’t even look up as he hands him the cord to plug his phone in.

 

“you shouldn't of done that. britpop is my specialty and i have the perfect playlist.”

 

dele groans but he does nothing to stop him from pulling up spotify and pressing play.

 

“i should have known you were a britpop guy.”

 

eric looks over at him, mock offence on his face.

 

“and what the hell is that supposed to mean?” he asks.

 

dele raises an eyebrow.

 

“you're very clearly one of those indie rock white boys who jerks off to morrissey, i get it.”

 

eric bursts out laughing and dele half joins in. neither of them have really acknowledged the pulp song playing over the speakers.

 

“you're half right. i do like that kind of music, but i fucking hate morrissey. if i was gonna jerk off to anyone, it would be damon albarn.”

 

dele stares at him for a second before he nods slowly.

 

“fair enough. the smiths suck.”

 

they sit in the stairwell for hours. eventually dele gets tired of eric's playlist and puts on one of his own, and eric has to admit that it's actually pretty good. when he tells him that, dele smiles softly and eric wants to leave the stairwell because dele isn’t supposed to be _soft_ like that.

 

but he is. and eric stays.

 

they talk about all kinds of stuff, and even though dele isn't particularly forthcoming with details, eric does force some things out of him. he's from milton keynes, he's studying business (which he hates), he wants to be a dj (which he loves), he's a tottenham fan, and he's straight (which is fine, it's totally fine).

 

he's kind of obsessed with the fact that eric has spent time in portugal, and he keeps asking him to speak portuguese and repeating the words back to him all wrong. eric patiently tries to correct him, to actually teach him a little about the language. dele, though, just wants to learn how to swear, so eric gives in and tells him every bad portuguese word he knows.

 

it feels nice, to just sit there and listen to music and chat shit, knowing they're the only people in the building. it feels nice that there’s no expectation, no need to act a particular way or say a particular thing. there’s something comforting about being so isolated, knowing they’re alone and seeing the darkness outside the window like a forcefield. eric feels like he could say anything to dele, and that he’d just raise an eyebrow and they’d move on. it feels freeing.

 

he knows, of course, that dele actually lives in his building and that in two weeks everyone else will be back and the chaos will resume. for now though, he just lets himself sink into the music and dele’s presence, the stairwell shielding them both from the rest of the world.

 

***

 

the next day, eric has just finished his dinner of a microwave pasta meal when he hears music coming from the stairwell. his first reaction is to smile, but then he realises what it is that’s playing.

 

“fucking _prick_.”

 

he doesn’t bother to put his dish in the kitchen before he walks out his flat and into the lift, smashing the button for the thirteenth floor.

 

he can’t hear the music in the lift, which is somewhat of a relief, but when the doors open again it's so loud eric wants to fling himself down the elevator shaft. he walks right over and opens the door to the stairwell, looking down at where dele is sat with his speakers.

 

when he smirks up at him, eric wants to laugh and punch him at the same time. he turns the morrissey song down but not off and eric _really_ wants to punch him.

 

“i thought you had taste.”

 

“just wanted to see how long you’d last. you even took the lift up this time man, you really do hate morrissey.”

 

eric laughs and dele turns the song off as eric starts to sit down.

 

“finally, thank you.”

 

dele smiles over at him.

 

“it’s nice to know how to torture you. i always like to have one over on people.”

 

eric shakes his head in disgust but dele just laughs, handing him the cord again.

 

“no britpop this time. it’s okay, but pick something else.”

 

eric nods and laughs.

 

“you’re gonna regret saying that.”

 

he pulls up spotify and searches for the artist, looking over at dele as he presses play. slipknot blasts out from the speakers, volume turned right up again, but eric can still hear dele groan.

 

“turn it off! please fucking turn it off!”

 

eric just laughs at dele’s pleas until the other boy grows impatient, reaching across eric to try and snatch his phone. eric is too quick, though, and too tall and he moves it far out of dele’s reach. the other boy practically climbs into his lap, scrambling to get the phone out of his hand and eric is in hysterics.

 

“you could just unplug the cord!” he yells over the noise and dele turns to look at him.

 

he’s trying to pretend that he totally didn’t forget that he could do that, faking assurance, but his face is centimetres away from eric’s, their torso’s almost touching. for a brief second, eric can feel the warmth of dele’s body over his and his breath against his lips, and its intoxicating. then dele pulls back, just as quickly as he’d moved forward. he yanks the cord out of the speaker, the silence hitting eric at the same time as the cold from where dele’s body used to be.

 

“ugh, thank fuck that’s over,” dele moans, leaning his head back against the wall.

 

eric tries to ignore the empty feeling in his chest as he smiles over at him.

 

“karma’s a bitch.”

 

***

 

eric doesn’t see dele again for four days. he’s trying to act like that’s cool, like it’s cool that he forgot to ask dele for his number, like he’s not going mad from boredom and loneliness. honestly, he didn’t realise how hard it would be being on his own for the holidays, but it’s fucking torture. everything’s so quiet and he has no work to do and if he keeps talking to himself as much as he has been, he really is going to go insane. he’s cleaned the kitchen and common area from top to bottom and scrubbed his en-suite to perfection, only afterwards realising that he’d gotten so bored he’d resorted to _cleaning_.

 

as he’s lying on his bed throwing a tennis ball against the wall and listening to blur, he considers just getting a bus somewhere. he’s in london, for fuck sake, there has to be shit to do. he's getting up to do a quick google search of places nearby still open at 8pm when his doorbell rings.

 

he freezes on the way to his desk, confused as to who the fuck it could be until his brain whispers _dele_ and he walks out of his room.

 

when he opens the flat door, it is dele who’s stood on the other side. he has his hood up, his headphones hanging around his neck, and he looks pissed off as fuck.

 

“i knocked on every flat from the thirteenth floor all the way down here looking for you, dickhead,” dele says, barging past eric and into his flat.

 

eric just laughs and closes the door.

 

“if you’d have played some music, i would have come to you.”

 

dele waves a dismissive hand at him and goes to walk into the room on the middle right of the corridor before he stops himself.

 

“which room is yours?” he asks, turning to face him.

 

eric blinks.

 

“not that it’s not nice to have some company, because i’ve been going mad from boredom the last few days, but what are you doing here?”

 

he walks past dele and into his room, opening the door for the other man to come through.

 

“i’m not here for a booty call, if that’s what you think,” he says, smirking.

 

eric rolls his eyes.

 

“shut up, asshole.”

 

dele turns to him as he shuts the door and for a moment he looks concerned, like he’s said something wrong. eric feels his chest tighten, but the look leaves dele’s face as quickly as it appeared and now eric is mostly just confused.

 

“it’s weird being on the other side of the corridor.”

 

change the conversation topic. classic deflection technique.

 

“yeah, it feels the same once you’re in but so weird going in and out.”

 

dele nods, turning and glancing slowly around eric’s room. it’s the only thing he didn’t completely scrub from head to toe, so it’s a little messy, but still presentable nonetheless. dele takes in the books stacked messily above his desk, the records lined up perfectly next to them and his unmade bed before he points the pinboard just above it.

 

“damon albarn. you really do jerk off to him, huh?”

 

eric laughs and sits down on his desk chair, his back to his desk as he rocks himself slightly from side to side.

 

“depends on the mood i’m in.”

 

dele’s smiling over at him and eric eases a little. he doesn’t like people in his space, especially not now his space is so small, it feels almost like a violation. he’s still on edge, uneasy and trying to stop his overzealous brain when dele sits down on his bed and said brain stops working altogether.

 

he sits on it sideways, facing eric, his feet hanging off the edge and his head resting on the bottom of the pinboard holding the huge picture of damon albarn. eric doesn’t know what to think.

 

“you never told me, do your parents still live in portugal?” dele asks.

 

he’s so casual and eric takes a second to get his shit together before he processes the question.

 

“uh, no, they came back a couple of years before me. they travel a lot though, which is why i’m here for christmas.”

 

dele raises his eyebrow again and eric is back on edge.

 

“so where did you live?”

 

“football academy. sporting lisbon.”

 

this time dele raised both his eyebrows and eric is going to stand up and throw this desk chair through his fucking window.

 

“if you were that far through a football academy in lisbon, what the fuck are you doing at university in london?”

 

eric shrugs.

 

“i love football, but i wasn't sure it was for me.”

 

“big decision to make.”

 

eric nods and stops rocking in his chair for a second. he opens his mouth, thinks about it, and speaks.

 

“name a gay footballer.”

 

realisation creeps across dele’s face and eric’s chest hurts again. after a second dele looks… sad almost, maybe angry, and eric doesn’t know how to feel about that.

 

“damn,” he whispers, looking to the side.

 

eric doesn’t reply, not sure what dele is thinking and not sure what to say. he knows the realities of football as well as anyone else, and he wishes he was brave enough to be the player to try and change them, but he decided he had to look after himself first. guilt hits him again like a wave, as it usually does when he thinks about this for too long.

 

he’s so inside his own head that he only just hears dele when he speaks.

 

“it fucking sucks that you can’t do what you love because people are assholes acting like it’s the fucking victorian era, or something.”

 

eric nods. he appreciates what dele’s saying, he does, but he also knows that there’s nothing anyone can say to change it.

 

“do you still play?”

 

“of course.”

 

“lets go,” dele says, springing up from the bed and smiling down at eric, “do you have a ball?”

 

eric blinks before he stands up and pulls out one of the footballs stacked in the bottom of his wardrobe.

 

dele beams at him and takes it from his hands before heading for the door.

 

“lets see how good you really are, academy boy,” he calls over his shoulder and eric laughs, scrambling to put on his shoes on and grab his keycard and jacket before he follows him out the door.

 

***

 

they’ve been at it for over an hour and dele is starting to look like he’s going to drop dead if they don’t stop soon. at first, they had to climb over the fence to get onto the pitch which they definitely weren’t supposed to be using during break. dele had to figure out how to switch the lights on which took a solid fifteen minutes and a hell of a lot of swearing (dele) and laughing (eric). eventually though, they were playing one on one, switching between attacking and defending, dribbling and tackling and celebrating like idiots when they scored. dele was better than eric expected him to be, he’d clearly played a lot when he was younger. despite that, eric was much better and he’d lost count of the amount of times he’d left dele on the turf as he ran towards the goal.

 

“you’re quite good, you know,” dele says from where he’s lying on the floor. eric laughs and walks over to him, offering a hand to help him up.

 

“maybe, or maybe you’re just shit in defence.”

 

dele hits him in the arm when he’s upright, but he’s smiling and eric can’t help but smile back.

 

“we should stop though, i’m fucking exhausted, i can’t imagine how you’re feeling.”

 

“one more round. i’ll defend, you attack.”

 

eric sighs, but he gives in, moving towards the edge of the D and placing the ball down.

 

“ready?” he asks and dele nods, so eric starts to move.

 

he moves towards dele slowly, ball glued to his feet and eyes locked on dele’s. he looks down as he reaches him and feints to go left before darting right. he doesn’t get far, though, before dele sticks his leg out, his arms coming up to grip eric’s waist as they both fall to the ground.

 

eric takes a minute to process what has happened, his heart pounding. dele is lying on top of him, body pressed tightly to his as he smiles down at him and eric is more out of breath than he has been the entire time they’ve been playing. it feels so weird to be this close to him, to feel the entire weight of his body pressing him into the turf. he feels like he’s getting a chance to be closer to him than he should be allowed to, and he doesn’t know if he wants the ground to swallow him, or for time to stand still.

 

dele doesn’t move, he just stares down at eric, one leg slightly bent and one arm slightly under his body. there’s a smile plastered on his face, and his head is in front of the light but his eyes are still so clear and alive and eric thinks he’s going to be sick.

 

“that was a foul,” he says quietly.

 

dele laughs, quiet and all breath.

 

“maybe.”

 

they stare at each other for what feels like forever, dele’s eyes shining but still so guarded and eric wants to reach up and run a hand through his hair. he doesn’t though, obviously, but he does watch as dele opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again, and moves to stand up.

 

eric still can’t breathe once dele is standing and reaching down to help him onto his feet, and he has a feeling breathing around dele might be a bit harder from now on

 

he moves to the fence by the side of the pitch and sits down. eric follows slowly and sits next to him just as dele pulls a packet of tobacco out of his pocket and starts to roll a cigarette.

 

“don’t suppose you’ve got any water in there?” eric asks.

 

dele shakes his head, smiling. he evens the tobacco out, moving it back and forth between his fingers, before rolling the paper up and licking along the seam. eric watches him, not looking away until he sees dele’s tongue dart from between his lips and he decides that it’s too dangerous to have that particular image stored in his brain.

 

dele reaches into his pocket to put his tobacco back and pull out his lighter but eric swears he tries to move closer to him as he does it. he feels like he’s going mad, not sure if he’s imagining it or if dele really is sending the signals eric thinks he is. he said he’s straight, of course, but he’s only eighteen. maybe, just maybe, dele isn’t as straight as he thinks he is.

 

“have you ever had a boyfriend?”

 

the question shatters the silence that had ascended around them and catches eric completely off guard. he bends one of his legs, wrapping an arm around it, and nods.

 

“one. back in lisbon. we broke up a few months before i came here, though. and i came back in june because, you know, no point staying at the academy anymore.”

 

dele nods, exhaling smoke.

 

“i never even asked if you had a girlfriend?”

 

dele shakes his head.

 

“nah, i’ve never had one really. not a proper one, you know.”

 

“we’re still young, you have plenty of time for that,” eric replies, smiling.

 

dele looks over at him then, and nods.

 

“yeah, and plenty of time for other things,” he says, glancing down at eric’s lips before he looks back into his eyes.

 

eric feels his blood run cold. there is no way in hell dele just did what he thinks he did, is there? dele smiles at him for a second longer before he looks away, inhaling on his cigarette. eric is sure he didn’t imagine that one, and if he didn’t then there’s definitely more to dele than i think either of them realised.

 

“shall we go in? i’m getting cold.”

 

dele stands up and eric follows on autopilot, not really aware of what’s going on, mind otherwise occupied. he doesn’t want to be an experiment for dele, to be the guy that some straight dude just messes around with. there’s something in the way dele looks at him, though, that makes it seem like that’s not what he’s going for. eric doesn’t think dele even knows what he’s going for, but whatever it is it seems genuine. he wonders if dele is just messing with him, but he wouldn’t be that cruel, would he?

 

by the time they get to the short part of the fence, eric has come back to reality a little bit.

 

“i have a feeling this is going to be harder after playing for an hour,” dele says, chucking the ball over the fence before them.

 

eric laughs, starting to climb before he remembers.

 

“del, the lights.”  

 

dele stares at him for a second, something unreadable in his eyes, before he nods and mutters a _wait here_ as he walks off.

 

it’s only as the lights go off that eric realises what he said. he called him _del_ and he has no idea why. it fell out of his mouth so easily, without him even having to think about it, and eric doesn’t want to spend too long wondering what that means.

 

he turns around again, and starts to climb the fence.

 

they walk back to the block in silence and eric wonders if he’s done something wrong, if he shouldn’t have used the nickname. he didn’t even mean to use it, for fuck’s sake, he doesn’t want to push dele away for something he didn’t even consciously do.

 

when they walk into the building, eric heads towards the stairs before dele grabs hold of his arm.

 

“you do know this block has lifts, right?” he asks, and he’s smiling again so eric smiles back.

 

“i know, but i like taking the stairs.”

 

dele just lets go of his arm and moves towards the lift.

 

“after playing football for an hour? are you mad?”

 

eric shrugs even though dele has his back to him and goes to join him by the lift. the doors ping open straight away because they’re completely alone, and eric had forgotten about that.

 

when they’re both in the lift, he realises just how small the thing is for the first time. dele is leaning against the wall, not even touching eric as he stands there awkwardly holding the ball under one arm. the tension around them is either palpable or all in eric’s head. as he watches the numbers of the floors tick upwards slowly, he prays it's the second.

 

the door pings on the fifth floor and eric says goodbye, starting to walk out of the lift before dele stops him and pulls him to face him. eric stares at him, time standing still for a second in the brown of his eyes before dele jams his foot up against the lift door, wraps his hands around eric’s neck, and kisses him.

 

dele is kissing him like his life depends on it, like it’s the end of the world and they’re the last two people alive, and eric can’t keep up. he’s trying to kiss him back, to let him know that he wants this too, but he feels like dele is moving at three hundred miles per hour and his head starts to spin.

 

dele’s lips are soft, and one of his thumbs is stroking the back of eric’s neck so gently and that touch alone makes him melt. he tastes like cigarettes which is not the nicest thing, but eric doesn’t really care. he doesn’t move his hands, one still awkwardly holding the football at his side. he wants to drop the ball and pull dele towards him, to slip one hand under his t shirt and the other into his hair, to be closer to him. he wants to drown in everything about him, but he’s still reeling from the sudden action so he just stands there, frozen under dele’s touch.

 

before he can pull himself together enough to react, dele is pulling away and moving back into the lift.

 

“see you later, eric,” he says, breathless, as he presses the close door button on the panel and disappears from sight.

 

just like that eric is left standing the hallway outside his flat, holding a football under one arm and staring at his reflection in the scratched metal of the lift door.

 

***

 

eric barely gets any sleep that night, and it is entirely dele’s fault.

 

the kiss was one of the best of his life and he can practically still feel dele’s lips on his, but he doesn’t want to let himself get all rom-com about it until he knows what the fuck dele was thinking. why did he kiss him? was he genuinely trying to make a move on him? if he was, then why the fuck did he kiss him and then just disappear? why in the hell does eric still not have his fucking phone number?

 

the questions are endless, and they keep running riot through eric’s head until he genuinely feels like he’s lost his mind. he’s realised that he definitely liked kissing dele, that he definitely _likes_ dele, and not being able to see him or get answers is the cruelest form of torture.

 

he goes for a walk, cleans his bathroom again, chucks a tennis ball at his wall for an hour, makes himself curry from scratch for dinner, and he still doesn’t have answers.

 

in reality he knows that dele is the only one who can give him those answers, but he doesn’t know what flat he lives in to go and ask him. it’s not just that though. eric knows how hard it is to come to terms with the fact that you like other men, and if that’s what dele is going through, he probably just needs time.

 

eric questions that thought at 6pm when music starts blaring from the stairwell again. it’s the same music dele was playing the first time eric met him, and for some reason that feels like an omen.

 

he decides to go anyway, his brain too noisy and curious to let him stay in his flat. his stomach is in knots as the lift slowly rises, the possibility of rejection (or the opposite) looming heavily over his mind.

 

when he gets there, dele turns the music down but doesn’t look up at him.

 

“hey,” eric says and even that word sounds weird and wrong coming out of his mouth.

 

“hey.”

 

dele doesn’t look up at him as he replies and eric’s heart is beating so fast he’s worried it’s going to kill him. he slowly walks over and sits down next to him, making sure to keep a decent amount of distance between them.

 

“back to the shit music, i see.”

 

it’s meant to be light and joking, but it comes out sounding all wrong and eric wants to smack himself around the head. dele shrugs but he doesn’t reply and the air around them becomes thick with tension. eric starts to pick at a rip in his jeans, a nervous habit that he wishes wasn’t so fucking obvious.

 

he wants to ask him why he kissed him, and why he just walked away afterwards. he has so many questions just begging to fall from his lips, but he manages to stop himself from letting them loose. he just wishes it wasn’t so awkward, he wishes he knew what dele was thinking.

 

painful or not, he can’t just sit here with the shitty dance music playing and dele staring down at his phone.

 

“can we… talk about what happened yesterday?” he asks, so quiet it's almost a whisper.

 

dele does look over at him them, and eric feels uneasy at the look in his eyes. it’s not hate, or sadness or anger, it’s something eric can’t quite name. whatever it is, it makes him want to reach out and hug dele so tightly that all his problems melt away.

 

“what about it?”

 

the question is a loaded one, and eric isn’t quite sure how to respond.

 

“you… kissed me.”

 

dele looks away again and eric wants to scream.

 

“yeah,” is all dele says in response.

 

time seems to stand still for a second, eric’s entire body on edge. he pauses, his hand still fidgeting restlessly by his leg.

 

“why did you kiss me?”

 

it’s the big question, the one that eric most desperately wants the answer to. it’s an answer he feels he’s kind of owed, but it’s still not an easy question to ask.

 

“i don’t want to talk about it.”

 

eric feels cold all of a sudden. anxiety is telling him that dele was just messing with him, he just wanted to try kissing another man and now that he has, he doesn’t want anything to do with eric anymore. he knows, though, that that’s not it. he knows dele is confused, that he’s scared and eric aches with the need to make everything okay.

 

“you don’t have to talk about it now, but you have to at some point. you can’t just kiss someone and then not talk to them about it.”

 

“what are you even doing here?” dele asks, sudden and loud.

 

if he didn’t look angry before, he does now, and eric thinks maybe he read this wrong.

 

“you played the music.”

 

“i play the music because i want to listen to it, not for you. you know what, forget it.”

 

he unplugs his phone, silence ascending sharply around them, and gets up to walk towards the door.

 

“dele, wait!” eric calls, causing the other man to turn and look at him, “your speakers.”

 

dele laughs, but the hollow sound of it pierces eric’s skin like a knife.

 

“unless you plan on stealing them, i think they’ll be fine.”

 

he walks through the door, and all eric can do is stare after him.

 

***

 

he leaves it for a full day, trying to occupy himself by watching films and eating way too much chocolate, but it doesn’t work at all. he tries to not think about it, to not think about _him_ , but by the second day he realises just how much he misses him. he’s known him for like a week and he already fucking misses him and eric feels like the biggest idiot in the world. he misses his stupid sarcastic comments and his questionable taste in music and the annoying way he raises his eyebrow. he wants to be close to him, but he’s eighty percent sure dele never wants to see him again, so he just cycles in between wallowing in the pain and straight denial.

 

he spends a decent amount of the time blaming himself. he blames himself for allowing these feelings to develop, for letting dele look at him the way he did when they were on the turf of the football pitch, for the way he can’t seem to let go. he’s knows it’s not his fault, be he still wishes he could be stronger.

 

by the time evening rolls around, he’s had enough. it’s been almost forty eight hours and eric is done waiting for dele to sort his shit out - he’s going to do something about it. even if dele rejects him, even if he hates him, he has to know why he kissed him, and he has to make sure he knows that he really hopes that dele will do it again.

 

he takes the lift up to the thirteenth floor, shaking his left leg the entire time. he doesn’t know what he’s going to say, but he has to try. worst case scenario, dele rejects him and they never see each other again. that thought was supposed to reassure him, but it sort of just makes him want to smash something.

 

he walks over and opens the door to the stairwell to check if he’s in there, but it’s empty, even his speakers are gone. eric feels uneasy at the sight, and his mind keeps trying to tell him that it means dele hates him. he shakes his head to try and cast away the stupid thoughts, walking over towards the flat on the left of the corridor and pressing the doorbell. the sound is grating, but it’s the only one that he hears from the other side of the door. he listens carefully before pressing it again, just to be sure.

 

after a few seconds have passed, music starts to come from inside the flat and eric feels sick.

 

dele knows it’s him, he knows he’s stood outside his flat waiting to talk to him, but he won’t let him in. he’s blocking him out, literally. the music is deafening, more of the dance music he was playing the day before, and eric has sunk the ground and leant against the wall before he realises what he’s doing.

 

of all the possibilities he foresaw as he came up here, dele just straight up not talking to him wasn’t one of them. it makes sense, now that he thinks about it, but it hurts like hell.

 

he sits there for over an hour, listening to the music and wondering what the hell he should do. he could just sit out here until dele leaves the flat, because he has to leave at some point, but that seems a bit creepy. he could ring the doorbell again when the music stops, but dele will probably just continue to ignore him. his chest aches at how badly he wants to _do_ something, but he knows that there’s nothing he can do.

 

all eric wants to do is talk to him, to ask him if he’s okay, to tell him how he feels. he still doesn’t know why dele kissed him, and after a while he starts to get pissed off. _dele_ fucking kissed _him_ , and then just disappeared and now he won’t talk about it? he won’t even tell eric to fuck off, that he doesn’t want to see him again, he’s just freezing him out. eric deserves better, he deserves some answers, and he’s not going to find them sitting on the floor outside of dele’s flat like an idiot.

 

he stands up and walks towards the lift, pushing the button and waiting for the lift to reach him. the nervousness in his stomach has been replaced by a low burning anger, and for once he’s glad that that feeling is there.

 

if dele won’t even speak to him, fuck him. eric has lived without him for eighteen years, he can do it again.

 

***

  


over the next two days, eric probably feels every emotion known to man. he almost goes back to dele’s flat three times, but his spite stops him; he doesn’t want to waste his time if dele doesn’t want anything to do with him.

 

he wishes he would just talk to him, at least one more time, but he’s starting to accept the fact that that’s never going to happen. knowing that they live in the same block makes eric anxious, but he didn’t see dele before break and the chances of running into him are slim. it still gets to him, though, the thought of just seeing him around, in the lift or the smoking shelter. dele would probably pretend he was a stranger and eric doesn’t want to be a stranger to him ever again.

 

he tries to just forget that he ever met him, just go back to getting through winter break on his own, but it’s harder than he wants it to be. he starts rewatching prison break, just so he’ll have something to do, but he keeps getting distracted. his mind wanders in twenty thousand different directions and every single one of them leads him straight back to dele. it’s overwhelming and confusing and so frustrating that eric has already almost smashed a plate against the wall.

 

he feels like he’s trapped inside an escape room but he just can’t quite understand the clues to get him out.

 

when he’s finally had enough, he gets up and heads out, deciding to go for a walk to clear his head. fresh air always helps, and there’s probably somewhere open nearby for him to get some food. as he opens his door, what he sees on the other side stops him in his tracks.

 

dele is stood there, hand hovering by the doorbell, mouth open slightly in surprise, and eric is _angry_.

 

he has the fucking nerve to ignore him when he tried to reach out, but now he just turns up at his flat out of the blue? just as eric is trying to reason his way out of the fucking emotional maze dele put him? eric wishes that he had another fucking plate, because this time he would break it.

 

“i thought you were ignoring me.”

 

dele looks down then, lowering his hand slipping it into his hoodie pocket.

 

“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have ignored you. i was acting like a child, and i’m sorry.”

 

he looks up into eric’s eyes and he doesn’t know how anyone could stay angry at dele if he looked at them like that. it pisses him off, but he feels himself start to give in. his chest feels warm and suddenly all the feelings he’s tried to ignore for the past two days hit him like a tsunami.

 

“you were an asshole,” he says, but there’s a lightness to it.

 

dele nods, smiling slightly.

 

“i was. a huge asshole.”

 

they stare at each other for a second and eric once again finds himself wondering what in the hell dele is thinking.

 

“can we talk? we could go up to the thirteenth floor stairwell, i put my speakers back out there.”

 

eric nods, taking off his coat and dumping it inside the flat before he closes the door behind him.

 

dele fidgets the entire lift ride up, and eric almost feels bad for him - almost. he glances over at him at one point and dele smiles back so genuinely eric begins to wonder how he was ever mad at him in the first place.

 

as they sit down in the stairwell, dele mutters _i don’t think there’s a playlist for this conversation_ , and eric’s chest grows hot.

 

arctic monkeys starts to play over the speakers and dele turns to look at him, opening his mouth before eric can start to analyse what the fuck is going on.

 

“you asked me why i kissed you, and the only answer i have is because i wanted to. i knew that was why i did it but i didn’t quite know how to process wanting to kiss you.”

 

eric nods slowly. his heart is starting to beat faster because _dele wanted to kiss him_ and he never thought he’d hear him say those words. he doesn’t know what to say so he just stares at dele for a second, his eyes so soft and a nervous crease in his brow and eric wants to kiss him every day for the rest of his life.

 

“it’s a hard thing to process, trust me, i’ve been there. are you okay?”

 

dele looks shocked at the question, like he can’t believe eric is the one caring about him right now, but he nods.

 

“i am almost certain that i’m not straight at this point. i still like girls but, i like… you.”

 

eric feels a little bit dizzy as he stares back at him, a soft smile resting on the other mans face. he feels light and warm and he cannot believe this is actually happening, that after convincing himself that dele hated him he’s sat here with him in the stairwell listening to dele tell him he has feelings for him. he wants to pinch himself but he thinks it would look weird, so he nods and then realises that probably looks even weirder.

 

“i’ve been going crazy the last few days after you kissed me, you know. i thought you were just… messing with me or something.”

 

dele frowns.

 

“i wouldn’t do that.”

 

“well, you kissed me and then got angry at me and ignored me, you can’t blame me for thinking you were just being a dick.”

 

“i know. i’m sorry.”

 

he looks so sincere and eric can barely resist the urge to lean over and kiss him. he stops himself though, for now.

 

“i like you too, you know,” he says instead, watching the smile spread over dele’s face at his words, “but i need to know you won’t freak out on me again.”

 

dele reaches out and places his hand over one of the ones resting on eric’s thigh.

 

“i won’t, i promise. i just… did something impulsive, like i normally do, and then needed time to deal with the aftermath. but i’m good.”

 

eric nods, swallowing.

 

“you can kiss me again, you know. if you want to.”

 

“uh... nah, i’m good,” dele replies, smiling.

 

eric reaches over and smacks his arm lightly, causing ripples of laughter to fall from his mouth. when he’s stopped laughing, he looks back over at eric and he swears he feels his heart stop beating.

 

dele leans in slowly and locks their lips together and if eric thought the last kiss was the best of his life, he was so, _so_ wrong.

 

dele is slower this time, calmer, and it makes eric’s skin tingle. he brings a hand up to cup his face as the other one rests on his thigh, his lips soft and his body radiating warmth. he drowns in everything about dele, the thumb that’s once again rubbing softly across the back of his neck, the way his lips move against his, the way the skin of his waist feels under his hands. after a little while, dele licks tentatively at eric’s lips and he opens his mouth slowly, trying not to moan like an idiot when dele’s tongue rubs against his. it’s intoxicating and exhilarating and yet it places a deep calm at eric’s core, like he’s finally found where he belongs, and he never wants to leave.

 

eventually dele pulls back, breathing heavily and smiling at eric in a way that makes his stomach run hot. he smiles back at him, his head and heart as light as a feather.

 

“wait!” he calls out suddenly, making dele jump, “i still don’t have your fucking number!”

 

dele laughs, but he pulls away so can reach for his phone which is still plugged into the speaker.

 

“i guess we should exchange numbers now that we’re…”

 

he doesn’t finish the sentence and he looks over at eric like he’s asking a question.

 

“dating, i guess. i hate that term though.”

 

dele laughs slightly, handing his phone over for eric to type his number into.

 

“if i say boyfriends is that a bit forward?”

 

eric’s cheeks have never hurt this much from smiling.

 

“no, it’s not. boyfriends it is.”

 

he types his number into dele’s phone and hands it back, feeling his own phone buzz two seconds later. he checks it, seeing a message from an unknown number which consists of nothing but a single heart emoji.

 

“nerd,” he mutters, and dele smacks him in the chest.

 

they just sit there for a while, dele leaning against eric as the sound of the arctic monkeys drifts out from the speakers and fills the air around them. eric remembers how calm and free he felt sitting in this stairwell and talking to dele for hours, and he reasons that sitting with him like this is even better.

 

“i still haven’t seen your room,” he says suddenly.

 

dele looks up at him, one eyebrow raised, and opens his mouth, but eric manages to yell out _don’t!_ before he says anything. dele laughs and stands up, disconnecting his phone from the speaker and offering a hand to help eric up. he takes it, but when he’s on his feet dele doesn’t let go. eric is surprised, but he just smiles and let’s dele lead him through the door.

 

when they’re in his room, eric looks around and tries to take everything in. it’s messy, and there’s books everywhere and he has even more speakers in here, as well as a guitar stand at the end of his bed.

 

“you play the guitar?” eric asks, shock apparent in his voice.

 

dele just shrugs.

 

“yeah, a bit.”

 

eric opens his mouth to tell him that he can’t fucking believe that he didn’t tell him this sooner when he notices the metallica poster pinned to the pinboard above his bed.

 

“you do fucking like metallica, you little shit, you lied to me!”

 

dele laughs, his hand still locked with eric’s as he pulls him over to the bed and sits down. eric follows suit, mouth still open slightly at all the new information he’s learning.

 

“i do, but i don’t want people to know that.”

 

“you were wearing a metallica t-shirt when i met you! you have a metallica poster above your bed, how are people not going to know?”

 

dele shrugs again and eric just shakes his head.

 

“you’re unbelievable.”

 

eric goes to look around a bit more, to take it all in, but before he can even glance at something dele reaches out and turns his head to kiss him again.

 

they stay there for a while, making out and talking about everything they can think of. turns out dele is actually a huge metal and grunge fan, and he loves magical realism novels and the colour green and playing chess and eric’s head starts to swim with everything new he learns. dele is tough and guarded and a huge smartass, but he’s also quite possibly the best person eric has ever met.

 

eventually they’re lying down and dele is resting his head on eric’s chest. he runs a hand along the skin of his back underneath his shirt and wonders if he ever thought he’d be this happy.

 

***

 

when he wakes up, the first thing he sees is dele lying on his chest staring up at him.

 

“creep,” he mutters and dele laughs, moving back so eric can stretch, “what time is it?”

 

“just after eleven. we didn’t get to sleep until like four in the morning.”

 

dele seems tense and eric doesn’t know why, but he still looks so happy and it makes him smile.

 

“good morning,” he says quietly as he leans down to kiss him.

 

“good morning.”

 

eric briefly worries about his morning breath but dele doesn’t seem to mind, so he just wraps an arm around his waist and kisses him back. he’s kissing him so deeply and eric feels like he’s not awake enough for this.

 

when dele moves to straddle him, eric thinks _yeah, i’m definitely not awake enough for this_.

 

“dele, wait,” he says, pulling back as far as he can with his head resting on the pillow.

 

“what?” dele asks, brow furrowed slightly.

 

“i just… need a moment to wake up.”

 

dele hums in reply and moves down to kiss eric’s neck. he starts sucking and biting the sensitive flesh, before gently lapping over the marks with his tongue to soothe them. it makes eric’s spine tingle and he definitely isn’t going to be half asleep for long. he slips a hand up under dele’s shirt to rest on his lower back and just lets himself feel his body slowly come to life.

 

after a few minutes have passed, he places a hand on the side of dele’s head and moves it up so he can kiss him again. dele hums into his mouth and he feels his blood start to burn. he’s kissing him with intent, and with so much passion that eric can hardly match him, so for the moment he just lets him take over. he gets so lost in the way dele tastes and smells and feels that he doesn’t know if he’ll ever find his way back.

 

when dele grinds down on to him, dick half hard and causing a moan to fall from eric’s mouth, he’s suddenly right back in the room.

 

“dele, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

 

dele laughs, head falling onto to eric’s chest, and for a second he feels like an idiot.

 

“have i not made it obvious enough that i want to do this?” he asks, looking up and grinding his hips down again to emphasise his point.

 

eric’s breath catches, but he manages to keep his thoughts mostly intact.

 

“you’ve definitely made it obvious enough, i just meant that… you’ve never been with another guy, have you?”

 

something on dele’s face changes then. it’s subtle, but it's there, and if eric was a betting man, he’d guess that it was nerves that had crept into the edges of his features. the thought makes his chest warm.

 

“no, i haven’t. i know what guys like though. because i am one.”

 

eric laughs and rubs his thumb on the skin of dele’s back.

 

“i know that, but being with a guy is different. doing stuff _to_ a guy is different, i just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable about it.”

 

dele stares at him for a second before he kisses him hard on the lips, like he’s trying to tell him everything he’s feeling without saying a word.

 

“if you’re alluding to the possibility of me sucking your dick, i’ve thought about it. these last few days, i’ve thought about it a lot and i know it’s going to be weird the first time but… i want to. i really want to.”

 

between the thought of dele by himself thinking of sucking eric’s dick and the neediness in his voice as he finishes speaking, eric’s done resisting. he pulls dele in for a kiss and revels in the moan he lets out when he grinds up against him. his hands are roaming dele’s body as he builds up a rhythm, both of them almost fully hard. eric finds himself kind of amazed at how good dele is at this, and all he can think about is what he’s going to look like while eric’s sucking him off.

 

he moves suddenly, flipping them over, and dele lets out a high pitched yelp. eric laughs slightly, hands resting on dele’s stomach where his shirt has ridden up. he looks down at his hands resting there and realises he hasn’t even seen dele shirtless before. his stomach runs hot with want as he pushes the hem of the t-shirt up.

 

“take it off.”

 

“jeez, demanding much,” dele teases, but he does as eric says.

 

he looks down at him and he can’t resist the way his hips grind down at the sight of dele spread out beneath him. he’s more toned than eric thought he would be, his abs and pecks clearly defined. his skin is so smooth and he shivers slightly as eric runs his hands over his torso. he leans down and starts to kiss along his collarbone, dele’s hand coming up to rest on the back of his neck. eric wants to stay here like this until he’s kissed every inch of dele he can find, until he’s writhing and moaning and eric finally knows what he sounds like when he cums.

 

unfortunately, after just over a minute, dele is pulling his head up and smiling at him.

 

“what?” eric asks, frowning.

 

“take it off,” dele says, tone joking and eric laughs.

 

when he looks back at him, shirt discarded on the floor, the look in his eyes makes eric’s dick throb.

 

“i want to go first.”

 

he flips them back over and has his mouth on eric’s chest before he can even respond, but eric’s not complaining. dele kisses slowly down his torso, licking and sucking and biting as he goes, and eric can’t take his fucking eyes off him. he looks like he’s done this a million times before, like he does this to guys all the time, and eric is kind of impressed. i mean, it’s not that different from a girl, but still. before long, he reaches his stomach, eric’s hand coming up to grip his hair as dele sucks a hickey next to his hip bone.

 

“fuck, del, just-”

 

he doesn’t finish his sentence, but dele looks up at him with a smirk on his face which makes eric think he knows exactly what he means. he grips the hem of his sweatpants and waits until eric lifts his hips to drag them down his legs. there’s an obvious bulge in his boxers and dele is literally face to face with the reality of what he’s about to do. eric thinks maybe he’ll freak out, but if anything he just looks even more turned on. he kisses along the inside of eric’s thigh, palming him lightly through his boxers and eric moans. the touch is barely there and he’s thrusting up as much as he can but dele still doesn’t have his mouth on his dick and eric thinks he’s going to lose his mind.

 

“dele, please stop teasing me.”

 

it comes out half annoyed and half like a moan and eric doesn’t know which is worse. dele does what he says though, despite the fact that he looks a little too pleased at eric’s frustration. he slowly pulls his boxers down, eyes glued to eric’s dick.

 

he just stares at it for a minute and eric wants to laugh at how intense his gaze is, but he knows dele is new to this so he just lets him take his time. it’s literally the worst form of torture, having a hot guy in between your legs just _staring_ at you dick, but he can wait if it’s what dele needs.

 

dele looks up at him then like he’d forgotten eric was even there, embarrassment playing on his features.

 

“i- sorry, i just, i’ve never seen another guys dick before.”

 

eric laughs but he smiles softly down at him and dele looks a little calmer.

 

“it’s okay, i know it’s weird. just so you know though, you can touch it if you want to.”

 

he’s only half teasing him, but dele looks up at him like he’s so unimpressed - and also like he’s got something to prove.

 

he moves the hand that was resting on eric’s thigh and wraps it around his dick, moving it up and down slowly, without any hesitation. eric’s breath catches in his throat before he moans at _finally_ getting some real friction on his dick. dele looks pleased by that and he starts to pick up the pace, flicking his gaze between eric’s face his own hand moving up and down on his dick.

 

he keeps jerking him off, his grip getting tighter and his movements faster. it’s still sloppy and a little loose, but dele looks so hot between his legs and his hand looks so good wrapped around him that eric really has nothing to complain about. that is, until dele stops unexpectedly, and eric almost cries out in frustration. he manages to stop himself though, just in time to watch as dele moves his mouth towards his dick and licks around the head like it’s a fucking lollipop. he moans loudly, head falling back against the pillow, and that’s all the encouragement dele needs.

 

he sucks the head into his mouth, still holding onto the base with his hand, and just stays there for a second. he moves his tongue a little, testing things out, before he starts to take eric in deeper, bobbing his head slowly as he works his way down.

 

it’s tentative and exploratory and slow, but every movement of his head, every flick of his tongue, is driving eric insane. there’s something electric about it, some charge of energy that is making eric’s skin tingle. he lifts his head up and stares down at him, the way dele looks with his mouth wrapped around his cock almost making him cum right then and there. he runs his hand through his hair, just stroking and holding it there, encouraging him. that makes dele look up, right into his eyes, and eric has to bite his lip to stop himself from moaning.

 

dele is getting braver and braver, taking eric deeper and faster and even hollowing his cheeks out a little and eric wonders briefly if dele is lying about never having done this before. he tightens his grip on dele’s hair a little without meaning to, his moans getting louder and louder.

 

“fuck, dele, you’re doing so good. so fucking good.”

 

dele hums around his dick in response and eric knows that he isn’t going to last much longer.

 

“i’m gonna come soon, i think- _fuck,_ dele.”

 

he flicks his tongue on the underside of the head of his dick before taking him in deep and hollowing out his cheeks. his hand is moving on the base as fast as it can and as soon and eric feels the tip of his dick so much as graze dele’s throat, he coming.

 

dele doesn’t deepthroat him, he just gets close enough that it makes eric lose his mind, a slow burn working it’s way throughout his body. he moans dele’s name and grips on to the sheets as he finishes down his throat, watching dele swallowing, eyes sealed shut.

 

when he’s come back down to reality a little bit, he stares back down at him. he’s resting his head on one of eric’s thighs and he looks… confused.

 

“what are you thinking?” eric asks, causing dele to look over at him.

 

“cum tastes weird. nothing like i thought it would.”

 

laughter bubbles up from eric’s chest and dele climbs up so that their faces are level again.

 

“what did you think it would taste like?”

 

“i don’t know. different.”

 

dele is smiling down at him and eric reaches up to wipe a stray piece of cum from his lips.

 

“i can’t believe you swallowed it all.”

 

dele just shrugs.

 

“was it okay?”

 

he asks it quietly, like he doesn’t really want to but he can’t help himself, and eric wants to kiss him so badly.

 

“it was so good. like, suspiciously good.”

 

he narrows his eyes and dele laughs, leaning in to kiss him. it’s only now, with dele’s bulge pressed against his thigh, that eric remembers that he still has a job to do.

 

he flips them over for the third time this morning, and continues where he left off, mouth working it’s way down dele’s torso. he’s letting out little moans and pants at eric’s actions, his hand running over eric’s scalp, and he has never wanted to suck someone off so badly in his life.

 

“wait, stop, you don’t-”

 

eric immediately stops kissing along dele’s stomach and looks up at him.

 

“what?”

 

“you don’t have to… you can just give me a handjob if you want to. i don’t think i’m gonna last long.”

 

eric smiles as he shakes his head.

 

“i don’t care, i want to taste you.”

 

dele actually _whines_ above him and eric works his hands into the hem of his boxers, pulling both them and his sweatpants down in one smooth motion.

 

he has his hand on dele’s dick in seconds, his mouth following soon after and the noises dele is letting out are making eric’s head spin. he’s moaning and whining and swearing under his breath and every time eric works his tongue around the head he whispers his name like it’s a prayer.

 

he was right and he doesn’t last long, but the way his thighs shake as he cums makes it worth it.

 

they eventually find themselves lying down, dele’s head resting on eric’s chest again and their legs tangled together. eric is running a hand along dele’s back, a comfortable silence filling the air around them. he’s so glad he went to see what where that music was coming from, and he’s so glad that he stayed to talk to the guy playing it - it might actually be the best thing he’s ever done.

 

after a while, dele starts to laugh with absolutely no warning and eric looks down at him in confusion.

 

“what’s so funny?”

 

“nothing, i just… i thought i was straight five days ago.”

 

eric shakes his head, broad smile on his face, before he starts to laugh too. it is kind of funny how fast they ended up here, but eric wouldn’t change it for the world.

 

***

 

the next day, he follows dele out to the smoking shelter just after the sun had set. they stand together in the small shelter, just talking as dele smokes. at one point, eric leans in to kiss him but dele just blows smoke in his face and bursts out laughing, so eric doesn’t try it again after that. well, not until he’s finished his cigarette, which is when they somehow end up with dele pressed into the wall of the building, eric’s tongue in his mouth. dele’s hands slide up under his shirt and slowly pour a calming and sickly sweet heat into eric’s core.

 

“cigarettes taste gross,” he says as he pulls back.

 

“stop kissing me then.”

 

dele’s smiling at him and eric just shakes his head, moving into to kiss him again. before their lips can touch, dele turns his head to the side and eric is so confused.

 

“son? what are you doing here?”

 

eric turns around, still entrapped in dele’s arms. there’s a guy he doesn’t know walking towards the block, shopping bag in hand.

 

“hey, dele. i’ve been here the entire time, korea is kind of far away, you know.”

 

eric blinks and turns back to look at dele who looks just as shocked as he does, mouth slightly open.

 

“you’ve been here the entire time?”

 

son just nods, walking into the entrance of the building and scanning his keycard.

 

“you’re lucky it was me and not someone else, idiots.”

 

eric watches dele bite his lip to stop from laughing as his head falls back against the wall. he hasn’t reached the laughing phase yet, still consumed with confusion and embarrassment. after a beat, though, he does laugh, and the sound of his laughter mixes with dele’s as it drifts off into the clear night sky.


End file.
